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Young Writers Society



ex.tincture

by Caligula's Launderette


JIM: A unicorn, huh? —aren’t they extinct in the modern world?
LAURA: I know!
JIM: Poor little fellow, he must feel sort of lonesome.
- The Glass Menagerie, Tennessee Williams

ex.tincture

and just like the unicorn before the broken
glass horn – lonesome but with all that rainbow
light shining through; such a be-speckled prism.

shattered now on the impact of being manoeuvred by
something – merely misshapen, mishandled and now
appearing similar, no longer dis-

and in space of where the light left is just the twinge
of phantom pain.


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Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:28 am
Firestarter wrote a review...



Actually 'manoeuvred' is correct, it's english, just as Jack


Damn straight! We spell it much better :wink:

I liked it, CL. Sometimes I think you're speaking on a level I don't quite understand, but the language I loved. Especially the images of rainbows and phantoms.




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Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:18 am



Actually 'manoeuvred' is correct, it's english, just as Jack. :wink:

I'll try to clarify some stufferoos.

1. last line in second stanza, I chose to insert a dash after dis in place of similar, because I thought that two similiars in a sentence would make it too wordy. So basically the last line would translate to in layman's terms - looking similar, no longer not similar, or something like that.

2. The last line is regarding a scientific phenomenon where an amputee will still feel pain in a limb that's been amputated.



:D Thanks all.

Niamh I didn't care much for the play either. :shock:




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Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:02 pm
electricbluemonkey wrote a review...



This is amazing. Great work, CL. Some parts were very confusing (last sentence in 2nd stanza), but I guess its because I've never seen the play.

Caligula's Launderette wrote:shattered now on the impact of being manoeuvred by
something – merely misshapen, mishandled and now
appearing similar, no longer dis-


Two things here. 'Manoeuvred' should be 'maneuvered', and the last line...I really don't get.




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Mon Aug 14, 2006 9:59 pm
stilltyping says...



something – merely misshapen, mishandled and now
appearing similar, no longer dis-


At first I thought, "what?!" So then I proceeded to read the poem over a few more times. That's talent. Good job!




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Fri Aug 11, 2006 5:34 am
Niamh says...



This is a perfect ode to the Glass Menagerie. I have to say I hated that play, but I love your poem.





I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.
— Thomas Edison